Sunday, October 08, 2006
Depressed and Stressed up !!!
Been feeling so damn mentally drained in school. I just cannot take the pressure liao. I even thought of going for an exchange programme in order to get away from SMU juz for a while. I felt so damn discouraged and wonder what I am doing in school. An accountancy programme do not suit me at all as I often felt so stressed up dealing with accounting modules. I felt that I am fighting all alone and could hardly vent all my depressed feelings out as I felt that no one could understand the tremendous pressure which I felt. I really do not know if I am slow or something like that. I felt that I am not progressing well in anything I do.
What used to depress me so much in the past are friendships and relationships with others. Right now, I juz could not take my mind off from projects and juz reflect and think about my life. Why am I deprived of such a freedom to even think of things outside school? WHY???? Why can't I juz work at my own pace??? Why muz I go according to the pace which I felt so uncomfortable??? There are people who feels that if u put in effort, you will succeed. But I felt that whatever I am doing right now, I am unable to succeed. I even feel loss regarding the career which I want to undertake in future. I do not know what I want. Does getting a simple job with no stress, but less pay make me happier? Sometimes I realy feel that I should juz stop my education and work for something which I feel more comfortable with. Haizzz.. Dunno lar.
I used to feel that the transition from secondary school to Junior College was a great jump for me. But the environment which I was in back then in JC was not as intense as what I am experiencing at this point in time in university. At least, I do have a few closer friends in JC whom I could grumble to and vent all my depressed feelings to. Right now, I am all alone, undergoing everything by myself. Sianzzz..
I ahve to go back to my AIS project liao. Another sleepless night.
Signing off,
depressed Sherine
What used to depress me so much in the past are friendships and relationships with others. Right now, I juz could not take my mind off from projects and juz reflect and think about my life. Why am I deprived of such a freedom to even think of things outside school? WHY???? Why can't I juz work at my own pace??? Why muz I go according to the pace which I felt so uncomfortable??? There are people who feels that if u put in effort, you will succeed. But I felt that whatever I am doing right now, I am unable to succeed. I even feel loss regarding the career which I want to undertake in future. I do not know what I want. Does getting a simple job with no stress, but less pay make me happier? Sometimes I realy feel that I should juz stop my education and work for something which I feel more comfortable with. Haizzz.. Dunno lar.
I used to feel that the transition from secondary school to Junior College was a great jump for me. But the environment which I was in back then in JC was not as intense as what I am experiencing at this point in time in university. At least, I do have a few closer friends in JC whom I could grumble to and vent all my depressed feelings to. Right now, I am all alone, undergoing everything by myself. Sianzzz..
I ahve to go back to my AIS project liao. Another sleepless night.
Signing off,
depressed Sherine
