Sunday, December 18, 2005
Haizzz.. Time really flies and the year is coming to an end. I realise I tend to get a little emotional every year when coming to year end. Perhaps I feel that I had not achieved much this year. Or I dread making resolutions as none will ever ever come true. Hmmm..Haizzz.. Dun know la.
Feeling a sense of emptiness in me as Christmas approaches. I start to think of the sort of Christian I used to be 6 years back and what I am right now. Hmmm, a big contrast. But anyway I realise that I do not even bother much liao. My focus has all changed.
I came to realise that I get really affected by the same things that I experienced years back. However, I believe that the intensity of hurtful feelings is even greater right now. Hmmm, perhaps I had gotten more emotionally in touch with my own feelings. Or rather I keep too much things in me and being unwilling to open up. I lack the pure heartedness and childlikeness that used to be in me. Haizzz.. Perhaps this is the reason why I am feeling that way.
I know U are not really at fault this time round. But I cannot help but just to feel emotional. I realise the importance things are really to me. I cannot afford to lose it. I believe I get to sensitive at times. But then it is only natural for one to feel this way.
Haizzz... Do I really need to keep myself packed to avoid thinking? I HATE to feel like that. I really do.When can I escape from all these shit. I really wonder.
Okok.. Shall talk about my day.
Just now met up with Jie Wei. Supposed to go to the gym and sauna. Haa, but apparantly something unexpected happen, so we had a change of plans. JW came to my house to watch "The outsiders". Hmmm, its my 3rdtime watching the Chinese serial as it is just great. The story line is so sweet but touching. Haa, moreover, the actors are good looking. Wahahaaaa... Hmmm, think JW will have to come over again to complete the serial. bOOOo
Haizzzz... Sianz
Feeling a sense of emptiness in me as Christmas approaches. I start to think of the sort of Christian I used to be 6 years back and what I am right now. Hmmm, a big contrast. But anyway I realise that I do not even bother much liao. My focus has all changed.
I came to realise that I get really affected by the same things that I experienced years back. However, I believe that the intensity of hurtful feelings is even greater right now. Hmmm, perhaps I had gotten more emotionally in touch with my own feelings. Or rather I keep too much things in me and being unwilling to open up. I lack the pure heartedness and childlikeness that used to be in me. Haizzz.. Perhaps this is the reason why I am feeling that way.
I know U are not really at fault this time round. But I cannot help but just to feel emotional. I realise the importance things are really to me. I cannot afford to lose it. I believe I get to sensitive at times. But then it is only natural for one to feel this way.
Haizzz... Do I really need to keep myself packed to avoid thinking? I HATE to feel like that. I really do.When can I escape from all these shit. I really wonder.
Okok.. Shall talk about my day.
Just now met up with Jie Wei. Supposed to go to the gym and sauna. Haa, but apparantly something unexpected happen, so we had a change of plans. JW came to my house to watch "The outsiders". Hmmm, its my 3rdtime watching the Chinese serial as it is just great. The story line is so sweet but touching. Haa, moreover, the actors are good looking. Wahahaaaa... Hmmm, think JW will have to come over again to complete the serial. bOOOo
Haizzzz... Sianz
