Friday, November 25, 2005
Was at home the whole day being all alone. I enjoy such a time as it really gives me time to reflect about my life and just get away from the hustle and bustle of the city life. Haaa.
I was really very down and discouraged yesterday. It had been such a long time since anyone can just put me down this way. I felt so injustified and pressurized by them. I just have this STUPID weaknesses in me; being unable to voice out my injustice. Because of that, I had to suffer. Whose fault is it??? Is all my fault. There is so many things in me that I need to change, or I will never feel good.
I was really down and discouraged. Do not even have appetite to eat. Ate a few scoops of rice and then vomited out everything. I do not know what I am doing here. I needed a listening ear, someone who can tell me that I am not the only person who feel this way. So chatted with JW over the phone. We talked for a few hours, till 4 am in the morning. I felt much better, as I realised that I can never never please everyone. Thanks so much for listening, and make you cannot sleep. Haizzzz... But then I really do not know how to handle my emotions back then. But such a feeling which I encountered yeaterday can never never be compared to the hurts and the regrets which I experienced all these while. We agreed that the worst feeling anyone can feel is REGRETS " what if this did not happen?? What if I did not make such a decision back then??" This sort of feeling is really really bad. Haizzzz... I do not why that feeling can never go away. I is so damn bad lor. I feel quite wierd now. Dun know how to explain that sort of feelings. Sianzzz..
Tomorrow is our LTB presentation. It is 8.30am in the morning. And we did not rehearse the whole thing at all. This is the first time for me that no rehearsal is done before a presentation. Just have to hope for the best. Wahaha. Just have to be inpromto la. Wahaha. Sianz. So I had to reach school at 0730 tomorrow to meet my Dengue Busters for a run through. What it implies is that my precious sleep will be sacrificed. Sian to the max. Haizzz.. I know I am groucy. But all these hell will be over soon. After next week, I can yayyyyyyyy!!!!!!! Haizzz... Just have to look ahead.bOOOOO
I was really very down and discouraged yesterday. It had been such a long time since anyone can just put me down this way. I felt so injustified and pressurized by them. I just have this STUPID weaknesses in me; being unable to voice out my injustice. Because of that, I had to suffer. Whose fault is it??? Is all my fault. There is so many things in me that I need to change, or I will never feel good.
I was really down and discouraged. Do not even have appetite to eat. Ate a few scoops of rice and then vomited out everything. I do not know what I am doing here. I needed a listening ear, someone who can tell me that I am not the only person who feel this way. So chatted with JW over the phone. We talked for a few hours, till 4 am in the morning. I felt much better, as I realised that I can never never please everyone. Thanks so much for listening, and make you cannot sleep. Haizzzz... But then I really do not know how to handle my emotions back then. But such a feeling which I encountered yeaterday can never never be compared to the hurts and the regrets which I experienced all these while. We agreed that the worst feeling anyone can feel is REGRETS " what if this did not happen?? What if I did not make such a decision back then??" This sort of feeling is really really bad. Haizzzz... I do not why that feeling can never go away. I is so damn bad lor. I feel quite wierd now. Dun know how to explain that sort of feelings. Sianzzz..
Tomorrow is our LTB presentation. It is 8.30am in the morning. And we did not rehearse the whole thing at all. This is the first time for me that no rehearsal is done before a presentation. Just have to hope for the best. Wahaha. Just have to be inpromto la. Wahaha. Sianz. So I had to reach school at 0730 tomorrow to meet my Dengue Busters for a run through. What it implies is that my precious sleep will be sacrificed. Sian to the max. Haizzz.. I know I am groucy. But all these hell will be over soon. After next week, I can yayyyyyyyy!!!!!!! Haizzz... Just have to look ahead.bOOOOO
