Tuesday, October 25, 2005
I deleted all my previous postings. Think I was too negative. Do not even understand those sort of reactions on my part. I really think I am not in the right state of mind for the whole of last week. I am depressed. There are people who even told me that I am wierd. Well, I believe I am for the end of last week.
Haizzz... Anyway, whatever that happened really got me thinking deeply into my life. I realise how wrong I had been for the past few years. I had been chasing after the wind. Putting my happiness on things that are tangible but never last rather than on things that are intangible but last forever.
I had to admit that I am never complete as a person after that obstacle came into my life. My happiness is never complete. I did many wrong things because of my own guard feelings. I am defensive to rebukes and challenges. Sorry if I had hurt anyone during this period. I will change and I really hope I will.
Anyway, I have decided to give myself one month to make drastic changes in my life. I am glad that I am starting on my spiritual journal but then I am not very deep with it. I lack the motivation after being in the pit during these 2 years. I hope to see the light soon, and stop feeling so much negativity about things with you as I realise it is not worth it. You are just a very shallow person from what I see.
Yea, I am glad that groupings is being formed to a certain extent. On one hand, I can be kept accountable for my act and at the same time, it can be a start of a new chapter of my lousy life. However, I do feel a little challenge about it as I am not someone who likes to open up too much to people. So that is what I need to learn. At the same time I am afraid of failing again as I had failed so many times in this aspect for the past few years.
Haizzz... I am going to take things easy. And dun you expect to make me feel down again. I am going to avoid this issue till I feel that I have overcame it. I hope that I can have a drastic change in my life as I really dislike the life I am leading right now.
yupz, so I have to be more positive liao.
Haizzz... Anyway, whatever that happened really got me thinking deeply into my life. I realise how wrong I had been for the past few years. I had been chasing after the wind. Putting my happiness on things that are tangible but never last rather than on things that are intangible but last forever.
I had to admit that I am never complete as a person after that obstacle came into my life. My happiness is never complete. I did many wrong things because of my own guard feelings. I am defensive to rebukes and challenges. Sorry if I had hurt anyone during this period. I will change and I really hope I will.
Anyway, I have decided to give myself one month to make drastic changes in my life. I am glad that I am starting on my spiritual journal but then I am not very deep with it. I lack the motivation after being in the pit during these 2 years. I hope to see the light soon, and stop feeling so much negativity about things with you as I realise it is not worth it. You are just a very shallow person from what I see.
Yea, I am glad that groupings is being formed to a certain extent. On one hand, I can be kept accountable for my act and at the same time, it can be a start of a new chapter of my lousy life. However, I do feel a little challenge about it as I am not someone who likes to open up too much to people. So that is what I need to learn. At the same time I am afraid of failing again as I had failed so many times in this aspect for the past few years.
Haizzz... I am going to take things easy. And dun you expect to make me feel down again. I am going to avoid this issue till I feel that I have overcame it. I hope that I can have a drastic change in my life as I really dislike the life I am leading right now.
yupz, so I have to be more positive liao.
