Saturday, August 20, 2005
I did not know I am such a failure, so no guts. Apparantly I was supposed to go for a minor operation today. Walked into the clinic with the intention of only getting some antibiotics to cure my eyes. The doctor say he needs to cut so that recovery will be quick. So he applied some eye drops to numb my eyes and told me to wait outside for a while and he will call me in again for the operation. As I waited, I could feel myself shivering. "Hey, Sherine U may come in." I walked into the clinic in fear and I laid down on the bed. Saw the needle going into my eyes, I struggled and my whole body is so tensed up. Think the doctor was so pissed off with me. He said,"I think you are not ready for it. I do not want to force you to do what you do not want to do." It is really not I dun want to go for it, but the feeling of knowing that your inner part of your eye is opened up when you are awake is so horrible, I know this is a fear that I am yet to overcome. But then i really do not know how to stay calm and cool. I told him to prescribe me some oral medication. Left the clinic feeling so useless about not having the courage to go for something that is so important. Haizzzz... Dun know la.
Yesterday the results for the superstar is really very suprising. I am suprised that Junyang and Xin Hui did not get in. Kind of like disappointed man. Haizzz...
Anyway, I went out with "Hey, how is your day" again. We met early in the morning to play badminton. And we can chat and play at the same time. Haa, not bad right. bOOOOOOOOO. Then after that went to drink bubble tea, and I Si ban. Drink the same thing AGAIN. After that we went to play arcade. And then proceeded to our movie.
We watched "Land of the Dead." Not bad a movie but then it is damn gross man. But quite funny. Think the movie is really very "inspiring". The unity that is seen among the Zombi is really something to emulate. They sticked with each other in times of good and bad. Initially they could not swim. But then the leader started to try out and the rest follow. What a leadership man. Then they are able to swim across the sea to the next city to suck ppl blood. They are really successful Zombis man.
Another thing learnt, do not judge the book by its cover. At first I thought that the Zombi are SI BAN BAN. As they walk very slowly and guess what, they are actually very very strong and smart. Know how to use knife and also break open glass doors. Smart man. Now then I realise they are not that useless as what they appear to be.
But then they damn SUAKU. Guess in life everyone has weaknesses. When they see fireworks they will pause and look at the sky with amazement and interest which slows down their act. This reduces their efficiency in killing people. But then with the leadership of one of them, they are still able to step out from their comfort zone and with the great unity in them, they still achieve things that is considered a success to them. Wow, learned a lot from the Zombis of how to work as a team and being united. OKOK. WHATEVER I SAID ARE ALL CRAPS.
Then after that I went to meet Marilyn for dinner. And guess what, we saw steven Lim. His said to Marilyn, "HEY, your caps looks really nice." We were like laughing. Then entered the toilet. I still cannot help but to imitate him again. I said, "hey" Before I could finish my sentence and saying, "your cap looks nice," it so happened that a foreigner came into the toilet and said Hi to me and smiled at me too. Think she really thought that the "Hey" is meant for her when I am just intending to laugh and Steven Lim.
Then later ran home and watch my Superstar. Haizzzz... still damn sad about the results.
Guess I am really mood swing man. At night I suffer from insomnia again. Do not understand why I breakdown again. Thought I had accepted it all. But then I will never overcome. Believe I can. But the question is when. 1 year? 2 years? Haizzz... I really dun know. Just have to hope for the best and live for the moment.
Yesterday the results for the superstar is really very suprising. I am suprised that Junyang and Xin Hui did not get in. Kind of like disappointed man. Haizzz...
Anyway, I went out with "Hey, how is your day" again. We met early in the morning to play badminton. And we can chat and play at the same time. Haa, not bad right. bOOOOOOOOO. Then after that went to drink bubble tea, and I Si ban. Drink the same thing AGAIN. After that we went to play arcade. And then proceeded to our movie.
We watched "Land of the Dead." Not bad a movie but then it is damn gross man. But quite funny. Think the movie is really very "inspiring". The unity that is seen among the Zombi is really something to emulate. They sticked with each other in times of good and bad. Initially they could not swim. But then the leader started to try out and the rest follow. What a leadership man. Then they are able to swim across the sea to the next city to suck ppl blood. They are really successful Zombis man.
Another thing learnt, do not judge the book by its cover. At first I thought that the Zombi are SI BAN BAN. As they walk very slowly and guess what, they are actually very very strong and smart. Know how to use knife and also break open glass doors. Smart man. Now then I realise they are not that useless as what they appear to be.
But then they damn SUAKU. Guess in life everyone has weaknesses. When they see fireworks they will pause and look at the sky with amazement and interest which slows down their act. This reduces their efficiency in killing people. But then with the leadership of one of them, they are still able to step out from their comfort zone and with the great unity in them, they still achieve things that is considered a success to them. Wow, learned a lot from the Zombis of how to work as a team and being united. OKOK. WHATEVER I SAID ARE ALL CRAPS.
Then after that I went to meet Marilyn for dinner. And guess what, we saw steven Lim. His said to Marilyn, "HEY, your caps looks really nice." We were like laughing. Then entered the toilet. I still cannot help but to imitate him again. I said, "hey" Before I could finish my sentence and saying, "your cap looks nice," it so happened that a foreigner came into the toilet and said Hi to me and smiled at me too. Think she really thought that the "Hey" is meant for her when I am just intending to laugh and Steven Lim.
Then later ran home and watch my Superstar. Haizzzz... still damn sad about the results.
Guess I am really mood swing man. At night I suffer from insomnia again. Do not understand why I breakdown again. Thought I had accepted it all. But then I will never overcome. Believe I can. But the question is when. 1 year? 2 years? Haizzz... I really dun know. Just have to hope for the best and live for the moment.
