Monday, June 06, 2005
Just came back not long ago. After church today, I met up with Yukina for lunch. We were talking and talking and somehow she realise that there is something troubling me. At first I denied. But the truth is that it might be all over my face, I do not know. It is true. I am down or perhaps even depressed. I needed someone whom I can vent all my sorrows to, I am sick of keeping everything to myself.
I had a long talk with her telling her how I actually felt about those things happening in my life. I told her whatever I felt. I am suprised that I will share it out. But at least she is able to understand it and that is already a great encouragement to me. Appreciate her a lot for just listening patiently.
I came to the conclusion that I do not belong to the world somehow. I am neither here nor there in every aspects of my life. I feel lost. I am pissed with myself. I am feeling empty. Something is missing in my life. I lose faith that I can get it back.
Is this the symptom of depression? Feeling down everyday, suffering from insomnia, lose hope in my life, do not really enjoy doing much things and feeling directionless in my life. I really do not know. I am sick of life. I am sick of putting up a front and being what I am not. I am sick of everything.
I wanted to go home early today to be alone again. I wanted to think things through. But seems like nothing is really done. I do not feel resolved.
There is people who feel that I am a bit wierd recently. I guess I am. I am kinda mood swing. As much as I want to look happy in front of people, somehow it really shows from the way I talk and from my facial expression that I might not be what I appear to be. What should I do????
A lost soul, struggling in the world
I had a long talk with her telling her how I actually felt about those things happening in my life. I told her whatever I felt. I am suprised that I will share it out. But at least she is able to understand it and that is already a great encouragement to me. Appreciate her a lot for just listening patiently.
I came to the conclusion that I do not belong to the world somehow. I am neither here nor there in every aspects of my life. I feel lost. I am pissed with myself. I am feeling empty. Something is missing in my life. I lose faith that I can get it back.
Is this the symptom of depression? Feeling down everyday, suffering from insomnia, lose hope in my life, do not really enjoy doing much things and feeling directionless in my life. I really do not know. I am sick of life. I am sick of putting up a front and being what I am not. I am sick of everything.
I wanted to go home early today to be alone again. I wanted to think things through. But seems like nothing is really done. I do not feel resolved.
There is people who feel that I am a bit wierd recently. I guess I am. I am kinda mood swing. As much as I want to look happy in front of people, somehow it really shows from the way I talk and from my facial expression that I might not be what I appear to be. What should I do????
A lost soul, struggling in the world
