Saturday, May 14, 2005
Today started off well. Then after that gonna give tution to a primary 4 girl. Actually, I took up this assignment only recently as the tution agency badly need ppl to teach that girl as mid year is coming. And that her previous tutors all give up on her after onli a few lessons. I am her 3rd tutor for the year. The First tutor onli teach 2 lessons.
First day went there felt that she is a good girl who listens an obey. Then 2nd lesson, she kept on looking at my pencil case and say she likes my coloured pens. From that time, I realise that my pencil case gets smaller and smaller each time I teach her. But I did not really see wad is missing as I dun really use a lot of my stationary these days.
Until last week, I saw my pen with her then I start to suspect. Then today, when I teach, I saw my rubber and ruler in her pencil case. But not my coloured pens. I asked her, "Is this yours?" She replied" I dun know." I said it is mine right. Then she smiled in embarrasement. But then kind of heart ache. Lost all my coloured pens. Her toilet door also spoil one. Door drop off.
Guess I am going to stop tutoring her since I only intend to teach her till mid year from the start. She is weird man. No wonder all her tutors do not last. Hahahah. But kind of funny to experince such things. Think I am really bad in dealing with kids. BOOOOOO.
I thought about it again. Could not really sleep again these week. Thought drifting apart might help. But I cannot help it, keeps on coming back. Dunno Y. Think I always feel for things that is never realistic. Haiz... Been so long, still cannot get it off my mind. I dunno where to base my security on. Knowing the it but lack the motivation and the will to carry on. Find that living is really meaningless esp when I can never focus on the right things.
Think I really need a strong christian to knock some sense into me. Telling me off. Rebuking me and forcing me to do my QT as I am not motivated to do it with my own strength. Knowing that onli God can help me switch my focus so that I can stop thinking of silly things. But then at the same time I feel uncomfortable to step out from where I am and change for the better.
Haiz.... Think I will not overcome it and I lack the confidence to.
Ending it on a happy note. I have decided to accept NTU Accountancy liao. It has been a course I sort of wanted to get in and I am grateful for whatever God has blessed me with. Perhaps it is time to really focus on what God has blessed me in my life and stop wallowing into self pity.
Now must happi happi. Like think of the chou chou wink. The laughing lady. bOOOOOOOOOO
First day went there felt that she is a good girl who listens an obey. Then 2nd lesson, she kept on looking at my pencil case and say she likes my coloured pens. From that time, I realise that my pencil case gets smaller and smaller each time I teach her. But I did not really see wad is missing as I dun really use a lot of my stationary these days.
Until last week, I saw my pen with her then I start to suspect. Then today, when I teach, I saw my rubber and ruler in her pencil case. But not my coloured pens. I asked her, "Is this yours?" She replied" I dun know." I said it is mine right. Then she smiled in embarrasement. But then kind of heart ache. Lost all my coloured pens. Her toilet door also spoil one. Door drop off.
Guess I am going to stop tutoring her since I only intend to teach her till mid year from the start. She is weird man. No wonder all her tutors do not last. Hahahah. But kind of funny to experince such things. Think I am really bad in dealing with kids. BOOOOOO.
I thought about it again. Could not really sleep again these week. Thought drifting apart might help. But I cannot help it, keeps on coming back. Dunno Y. Think I always feel for things that is never realistic. Haiz... Been so long, still cannot get it off my mind. I dunno where to base my security on. Knowing the it but lack the motivation and the will to carry on. Find that living is really meaningless esp when I can never focus on the right things.
Think I really need a strong christian to knock some sense into me. Telling me off. Rebuking me and forcing me to do my QT as I am not motivated to do it with my own strength. Knowing that onli God can help me switch my focus so that I can stop thinking of silly things. But then at the same time I feel uncomfortable to step out from where I am and change for the better.
Haiz.... Think I will not overcome it and I lack the confidence to.
Ending it on a happy note. I have decided to accept NTU Accountancy liao. It has been a course I sort of wanted to get in and I am grateful for whatever God has blessed me with. Perhaps it is time to really focus on what God has blessed me in my life and stop wallowing into self pity.
Now must happi happi. Like think of the chou chou wink. The laughing lady. bOOOOOOOOOO
