Thursday, April 28, 2005
Today was a fine day for me, everything went on ok at work. But I think I am kind of mood swing recently. At one point, I feel ok and I can suddenly feel down again. I really do not know wat I am feeling in my heart or whether it is right for me to feel like that.
I thought I have overcame it as I have been quite ok for 2 days, but I realise I am not. Think all these while I had been trying to sweep everything under the carpet and avoiding to deal with the issues in my heart. Thought I could be happier but it turn out that I still have not yet gotten over it.
But I can never talk it out with ....., think everything will get worse if I try to settle it. But then I have been so bothered abt it for months and nothing is yet to be settled. Even if my day is going on great, there will always be an emptiness in me that I really could not understand.
I tried to read my Bible and pray to God for the whole of last week, but my zeal had gone down again this week. Have not even touched my Bible, much more about praying. I either be hot or cold, meaning either be a great Christian or not to be one at all. Think being lukewarm is never a solution. It is an act of a coward who cannot make decisions.
Haizzz....Not worth me thinking about settling things with u since I believe that nothing will be resolved, things will just worsen. I have other more important things to do.
I thought I have overcame it as I have been quite ok for 2 days, but I realise I am not. Think all these while I had been trying to sweep everything under the carpet and avoiding to deal with the issues in my heart. Thought I could be happier but it turn out that I still have not yet gotten over it.
But I can never talk it out with ....., think everything will get worse if I try to settle it. But then I have been so bothered abt it for months and nothing is yet to be settled. Even if my day is going on great, there will always be an emptiness in me that I really could not understand.
I tried to read my Bible and pray to God for the whole of last week, but my zeal had gone down again this week. Have not even touched my Bible, much more about praying. I either be hot or cold, meaning either be a great Christian or not to be one at all. Think being lukewarm is never a solution. It is an act of a coward who cannot make decisions.
Haizzz....Not worth me thinking about settling things with u since I believe that nothing will be resolved, things will just worsen. I have other more important things to do.
